She comes back from the store with a new hat. To him:
“You see, the saleswoman told me that this hat makes me look 10 years younger.”
To which he:
“Then why didn’t you take three?”

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. 😀

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach him to fish and he will sit on the edge of the lake and drink beer all day.

The owner of a company talks to a young man looking for work:
“First of all, our company is obsessed with cleanliness, says the boss. Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in here?”
“Oh yes! Of course…”
“Secondly, continues the boss, we ask our collaborators to be honest. There is no mat at the entrance…”

DIET Day 1
I got rid of all the unhealthy food in the house. It was delicious.

Did you see a wolf in the wild?
No, my father doesn’t allow us to take the TV outside.

“What did you do on Sunday?”
“I went carp fishing.”
“And did you catch many?”
“Nothing.”
“And then how did you know they were carp?”

Two fishermen come to the judge.
“What made you fight now?” – the judge scolded. “You’ve been fishing together for two years!”
“Yes, but this is the first fish we caught!”

“Alas, dear, your husband is so thin!”
“From fishing!”
“I didn’t know, does fishing make you lose weight?”
“Well, he only eats what he catches…”