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Jokes for Your Sewing Breaks

Mother to 16-year-old daughter:
“And you want to say that you were in these clothes at the party?!”
“Yes!”
“Come on, get dressed and go to bed!”

Advertisement in the window of a women’s shoe store: “50% off if you choose within two minutes.”

At the Capitol, the farmer stops with his bicycle, leans it against the fence and starts looking around. The policeman:
“Sir, take the bike from here as congressmen and senators are coming…”
“No, it’s not a problem, I put a lock on it!”

Once upon a time there was an unlucky fisherman. A rather curious passer-by asks him:
“Does the pond have fish?”
“Yes…” (sighing)… “but it’s covered by water!”

“Today I made my resume, I wrote it, I edited it, then I burst into tears.”
“Why?”
“It’s a shame to send such a valuable man to work.”

Knock Knock.
Who is it?
It’s me, baby, the love of your life.
Nooo, chocolate doesn’t talk!

Q: Why do men run after women they have no intention of marrying?
A: For the same reason dogs run after cars they don’t intend to drive!

Husband: “My dear, I have decided not to argue with you anymore!”
Wife: “You decided! Typical! But did you bother to ask my opinion?”

An employee enters the boss’s office, pulls the telephone cable from the wall, throws his papers on the floor, and pours coffee on his head. Colleagues in the office shout:
“Stop, we were joking, you didn’t win the lottery!!!”

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