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Jokes for Your Sewing Breaks

Have you heard about the rising political tensions between yogurt and penicillin? One side is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic. They’re calling it a culture war.

Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants under tension.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and got tense.

Why did the physics book feel stressed out? It had too many problems with tension and friction.

“Hey, what’s wrong, why are you so sad?”
“Sit down, brother, I’ll tell you this.”
“Okay. Say. What happened?”
“In short, the bench is freshly painted.”

At an interview for a job:
“And now, if you have any questions about our office?”
“Well… I would be interested to know how many people work in this office.”
“Normally, about a quarter…”

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read anything.

Whenever I go to a Apple Store, I feel like a three year old at a candy store. I can’t afford anything.

St. Patrick’s Day tip: Clean your toilet today, you may be face down in it later …

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