“May I cross your land, to catch the five o’clock train?”
“Of course. And if the bull sees you, you may even catch the four thirty train.”
“I can’t understand why I was brought to the police station!” exclaimed a drunkard, full of indignation!
“For drinking! the duty officer answers.”
“Well, why don’t you say so? Bring me a brandy!”
“Private, in which company do you want to be?”
“In the company of a woman.”
“Dad, you have to go to school to talk to the principal.”
“Why, what else have you done?”
“Well, nothing, I just asked: ‘Which end?'”
“How so?”
“Well, in math class, the teacher, with a ruler in her hand, came and pointed the ruler at me saying: ‘At the end of this ruler is a person with a slow mind’… To which I just asked: ‘At which end ?'”
Two friends:
“Who gave you the black eye?”
“You know that pretty woman who said she was a widow?”
“Yes.”
“Well, she’s not.”
Doctor, what do you have for my wrinkles?
The utmost respect.
“I couldn’t sleep at night and the doctor told me to close my eyes and start counting my sheep until I fell asleep.”
“Did it work?”
“I started to count them but lost all my sleep when I realized that I was missing two…”