Two friends talking:
“Yesterday I went to an auction with my husband”.
“Really? And how much did you get for him?”
Social media helps: a young woman goes to the confessional, but the priest stops her and says “No need my child, I read your Facebook posts…”
Everything is relative.
When you are in bed in the morning and the alarm sounds at 6am, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and when you open them, it is 7am and you’re late.
At work, you finally get to close your eyes for 5 minutes at 1:30pm and when you open them, it is 1:31pm.
Of course I talk to myself from time to time; there are moments when I need expert advice!
The kid asks: Mommy, why did you marry daddy?
Mother to husband: See, even the kid is wondering why.
Kid: Daddy, what is that, “a man”?
Father: It is someone strong, who takes care of the family, who loves and protects everyone.
Kid: Ok, when I grow older I want to be a man like mommy!
The teenage girl to her father: Dad, I love you so much! Let me give you a hug!
Father: Thank you, but you should know that your mother hugged me earlier and took everything.
At the dentist, mother to son: “Son, please open your mouth and say ‘aaaaaa’ so the doctor can remove his fingers!”
Kid in kindergarten: “They should make up their minds! First, they want me to learn how to walk and talk, and now they tell me to sit and shut up!”