A real man is ready to wait for hours until his wife is ready in 2 minutes!
How can you explain taxes to your child? Give him an ice cream cone then eat half.
Father to son: Son, I need to go away for a week, during this time you’ll be the man of the house.
Son: Ok dad, but come back soon. I don’t like washing dishes.
Since the start of Covid, the highway police has a problem. Every car smells like alcohol but all drivers are sober.
A girl gets married and her girlfriends asked if it is for love or money. No, she answers, is for the love OF money.
“Grandpa, how come you don’t have any life insurance?”
“I want people to be sad when I die, not happy.”
“Aren’t you sad that all your friends are married?”
“Of course I am, but there is nothing I can do to help them.”
A car stops in a village and the driver asks: “What is the way to the hospital?” “See that turn? Straight ahead!”
Technology limitations: a computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing!
Best definition of a middle-aged man: a person who stopped growing at both ends but still grows in the middle.