Two neighbors talking in front of the apartment building:
“I know you have a trumpet, how much to borrow it for a week?”
“Ah, you want to learn how to sing too!”
“No, I would like to sleep.”
The rich, older husband is in the hospital and the young, pretty wife talks to the doctor.
“Doctor, is there any hope?”
“I am sorry, none. He is going to get well.”
My wife supports me in all her decisions!
My yoga pants have never been to yoga!
A man told his friend: “My wife only has two complaints: nothing to wear and not enough closet space.”
If money doesn’t grow on trees why do banks have branches?
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to shop.
When I have money, I have nothing to buy. When I don’t have money, I want everything.
A woman is never sure what kind of man she wants. Men have no such problems. They want all kinds of women.