Geography lesson. The teacher asks Johhny:
“Johnny, did you prepare for today’s lesson?”
“Yes Sir!”
“Ok, can you tell me where is Mount St. Helen?”
“Page 46, sir!”
New dictionary definition:
“Teenager: a new type of life form who needs 45 minutes to get dressed but in 5 minutes can unlock your phone, download your contact list, post his life on Facebook and take 200 selfies while listening to music at maximum volume”
Two women talk:
“My son doesn’t like fish at all, what can I replace it with?”
“A pelican. Pelicans like fish a lot.”
A 3 years old child plays a game on his tablet and at some point he has a question for his mother:
“Mommy, how did you make me? Was I downloaded, like in this game?”
“No son, the stork brought you!”
“Why, was the WiFi off?”
I saw yesterday two kids in the park playing with a ball. I realized immediately they must have lost their phones.
If you want to see the difference between a man and a woman, think chess: the king moves only one case at a time, while the queen roams the board!
Good news for us, the people, during inflation times: due to the large number of Russian oligarch yachts seized, the prices of yachts is substantially lower this year!
Two guys talk in a bar:
“I bought some volume control shampoo for my wife”
“And how was it? Any good?”
“Nah. I can still hear her.”
From one student’s essay:
“Love was in the air like the smoke from a grill”