Girl: Hi Doctor, have you found out what my condition is yet?
Doctor: Yes, do you like sewing?
Girl: Yes, but what does that have to do with any of this?
Doctor: You are seam-stressed.

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Because they drop all their needles

My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer-songwriter.

I can’t remember any sewing jokes, I’m running out of material.

My wife’s sewing machine isn’t working properly. Not sure what’s wrong with it though, it just seams a little off.

How did you know the thief was a seamstress? She seemed to be following a pattern.

What do you call a gathering of quilters? A block party.

A clean house is a strong sign that the sewing machine is broken

My dream world? A place where the fabric is free and sewing make you thin