A section of a factory gets a new boss. The guy, very proud, puts on the door a sign which says “The BOSS is here”. Soon after, his secretary opens the door and says
“Sir, your wife called and she says that she wants the sign back, or else!”
The husband comes home early from work. The wife asks:
“Why did you come home so quickly?”
“Because the boss told me to go to hell!”
In an office:
“How many people work in this office?”
“When the boss is at work, 5”
“So, without the boss, only 4?”
“Oh no, without the boss, nobody works”
– Hello, is this the help line for alcoholics?
– Yes sir, this is it. How can I help you?
– How do you prepare a mojito?
In court, a guy is accused of theft but he doesn’t have a lawyer. The judge asks
“Why you don’t have a lawyer?”
“Sir, all lawyers have refused to defend me as soon as they realized I really didn’t steal the 5 million!”
Ad in the paper: “Do you have a drinking problem? We can help! Call 1-800-BUY-LIQUOR!”
Did you ever wonder why the bride is dressed in white and the groom in black?
A guy enters a bar:
“Good afternoon, a double whiskey please.”
“It’s only 9 in the morning!” says the bartender.
“Good morning then, a double whiskey please.”