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Clean and Funny Jokes to Stitch Your Day With Smiles

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it is eaten. It is called the wedding cake.

The main cause of divorce is, obviously, the marriage.

The client, after the bank loan officer approves the personal loan:
Thank you, I will be in your debt forever!

The wife texts the husband on a frigid February morning:
Windows frozen, won’t open“.
The husband texts back:
Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap the edges with a hammer“.
The wife, 5 minutes later: “Computer is really messed up now!

Adam & Eve: the first people to not read the Apple Terms & Conditions!

Thoughts for a better life:
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t cheat on my girlfriend, I sleep from 10pm until 7am, I have a very quiet life. I can hardly wait to get out of the hospital!

For someone who is looking for a job: how do you write “I changed a light bulb” in your resume?
“Single handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of a new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, zero delays and zero safety incidents”.

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