The nurse told the parents of a newborn, “You have a cute baby.”
The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all the new parents.”
“No,” she replied. “Just to those whose babies really are good-looking.”
The husband asked, “So, what do you say to the others?”
The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you.”
Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”
His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”
Johnny exclaimed, “Wow… I can see why they threw him out!”
What do you do with a fussy baby?
You pacify it.
Mom: “Why is there a strange baby in the crib?”
Dad: “You told me to change the baby.”
Jake: “My mom is having a new baby.”
Joy: “What’s wrong with the old one?”
– I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
– Why, what did she tell you?
– I don’t know, I told you I didn’t listen!