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Clean and Funny Jokes to Stitch Your Day With Smiles

Did you know that on Canary Islands there is not even one canary? The same thing on the Virgin Islands. Not even one canary there either.

Two Americans from Los Angeles visit Great Britain and they spend a week in London. It rained the whole time so the Americans were of course upset that they couldn’t see the sites and asked the concierge at the hotel:
“Does it rain often in London?”
“No sir, only twice or three times per year”.
Glad to hear that, they asked again, full of hope, looking at the rain outside:
“And how long does it last?”
“Between four and six months each time.”

Let’s remain in England for a while; it’s still raining. The lord of the castle takes good care of his garden and is very involved in its upkeep despite having hired John, a full-time gardener.
“John, isn’t it time to water the garden?”
“But Sir, it is raining outside!”
“Well, take the umbrella!”

It rains in the US too, you know. Somewhere in the US, after seeing “Singin’ In The Rain”, a young couple have a romantic walk through – what do you think – rain. At some point he asks her:
“My love, would you marry a one-eyed guy?”
“I don’t think so”, says she (well, she’s young, we forgive her).
“Ok, then let me hold the umbrella please”

Two friends:
– I see you’re doing well after your marriage; you look much better, your clothes are impeccably ironed!
– Yes, the first thing my wife did after the marriage was to teach me to iron.

– I am married for 20 years and still in love with the same woman!
– Congratulations! Remarkable!
– Yes, but if my wife finds out, I’m a dead man.

Two girls talking:
– Why did you break up with your boyfriend?
– I told him I want to walk down the aisle and he suggested we go grocery shopping.

The husband comes home and the wife is on his case as soon as he opens the door:
“Yesterday there were two bottles of wine in the fridge, why is there only one today?!?”
“Because I didn’t see it!”

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