“Dad, I think Mom is a much better driver than you!”
“Really? How come? I don’t believe this!”
“Well, you said you could not even go 5 yards with the parking brake on, but Mom drove 12 miles to the market!”
When you lose your keys, there is invariably someone very smart who is going to ask you “where did you lose them?”
During a divorce trial:
“When did you realize your husband was drunk?”
“When I received a text from him ‘I can’t find my phone”
“My wife says I am useless. That is not true. I am very useful as a bad example.”
“What I don’t like about the office Christmas party is looking for a job the next day.”
“Last night I tried very hard to get in the Christmas spirit but I didn’t find the corkscrew.”
Husband: “Did you park the car in the garage?”
Wife: “Most of it.”
During a trial, the judge asks the accused:
“Did you follow the procedure described by the prosecution to steal the car?”
“No, but he gave me some interesting ideas.”
Wife: Honey, do you love me?
Husband: Of course, my love, I would do everything for you!
Wife: Would you kill a lion for me?
Husband: A lion? Can’t you find something else?
Wife: Let me look at your text and WhatsApp messages.
Husband: … ok, where is that lion?
Wife: I already have calluses from this broom!
Husband: Well, next time take the car!