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Not Sewing? Then Laugh!

A couple at a restaurant:
– Waiter, what wine do you recommend for our wedding anniversary today?
– It depends, sir, do you want to celebrate or do you want to forget?

Two friends talking:
“Hi, let’s have a beer at the corner bar.”
“Well, when I called you half an hour ago, you said you had a terrible headache!”
“I had, but she went shopping.”

The teenager asks his father for money:
“Dad, I have two questions! First:
Can I get more pocket money? And the second:
Why not?”

“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in the flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?”
“No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was away.”

A man’s brain has two sides: left and right. You can’t find anything right in the left and there is nothing left in the right.

Fatherly advice: “Son, if you sit on your butt the whole day and do nothing, the world will call you a bum. But if you do it in a boat, they will call you a fisherman”.

I asked my husband yesterday “Where you see yourself in the future, say 5 years?” and he calmly said “probably still in the mirror”.

From one of my friends in Britain: on which side do cars have the steering wheel in the UK? The inside, of course!

We can’t miss a Covid-19 joke: two lovers embrace, and he says “Oh, you are so hot! Tomorrow you need to get tested!”.

“Do you want a divorce?” the judge asks the wife.
“Yes, your honor, we can never agree on anything.”
“What about you, do you want a divorce too?” the judge asks the husband.
“Yes, your honor, I do too”.
“Then why do you say you can’t agree on anything?!?” the judge asks the wife.

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