Gas shortages last winter:
“Hello, they say on TV that it’s -15°C in your place. How are you holding up there?”
“No! Look, my thermometer reads 10°C.”
“Well, why would the weather forecasters say it’s -15?”
“Oh, maybe outside…”
Young married people at the table.
Wife: Did you like the second course, dear? It’s from the cookbook.
Husband: Next time please use the pages, the cover was a bit hard.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
From the last will and testament of a rich person: ”being in the fullness of my mental faculties, I had spent all my wealth before I died”.
We come from dust, and to dust we will return. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.
If you want your children to listen to you, try talking in a very low voice to someone else in their presence.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
When I was young, my parents used to say “Pardon my French” after each swear word they said. I will never forget my first day in French class when the teacher asked us if we know any French.
The teacher asks a child in kindergarten:
“Where did you get such beautiful and rich hair? From your mom or your dad?”
“From my father, he no longer has any.”