“You are so, so beautiful, but you’re not exactly what I’m looking for right now.”
“What are you looking for?”
“My car keys.”
Come inside, it is raining!
It’s ok, it’s raining outside too.
My husband mistakenly took two extra strength Tylenol. What should I do?
Give him a headache; it’s a pity to waste medicine.
“I see you sell Aspirin for $10 and other Aspirin for $20. What is the difference?”
“The difference is $10.”
“Drinks are on me! I have a son!”
“Congratulations! How is your wife feeling?”
“She does not know yet.”
“My dear, I decided I will never argue with you.”
“Listen to him, “he decided”. But did you bother to ask me too?”
The mother talks to a friend:
We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to me and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.”
“Yes,” I replied, “but you don’t have a cat!”