– At what temperature should I wash the t-shirt?
– What’s written on it?
– “Metallica”
It is impossible to please everybody.
But it seems that it is very easy to displease everyone!
When I was a small kid, I was afraid of the dark. Lately, when I see the electric bill, I am afraid of the light!
Men: You have to appreciate now the women who know how to cook, the next generation will feed you TikTok and Facebook!
Many people are wondering why do we humans have toes. I have the answer: they are necessary to find the hidden pieces of furniture in the dark.
Wife: “My dear, Mother said that if it does not rain on Saturday, she will come to have lunch or dinner with us. What do you prefer?”
Husband: “I’d rather it rain.”
Aren’t you tired of waiting for the water to boil, when you cook, make tea or coffee? I have a simple solution: pre-boil the water, put it in a sealed bag and store it in the freezer until needed.
Wife: “You take me out only once per month, if that. But you take the dog twice daily!”
Husband: “I didn’t know you also need to find a tree to go to the washroom!”
Uninspired classified ad: “Selling dog. Eats everything. Likes kids”
In the army, during basic training, the new recruits learn to swim. One of them knows already how to swim. The instructor asks:
“Where did you learn to swim so well?”
“In the water, sir!”
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.