A man dressed in overalls enters a prestigious car showroom, approaches the consultant and asks him:
– How much does a Bentley GT Coupe cost?
– 250,000 dollars.
– But in credit for a year?
– 25,000 monthly.
– A lot, but for two years?
– 12,500.
– It’s still a lot, but for 3 years?
– Isn’t it better to get a cheaper car?
– Of course it’s better, but the concrete slab fell on a Bentley!
I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit, so I announced that I won the lottery. Soon I found out who all my relatives are!
Hollywood’s solution to online piracy: make movies so bad that nobody wants to see them even for free.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
“Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, “Nope.”
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger’s legs.
As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!”
The old man mutters, “Ain’t my dog.”
I am talking for 30 minutes and you keep yawning!
I am not yawning, I am trying to say something!
A woman who does not cook is looking for a husband who doesn’t eat!
A happy marriage is when one half snores and the other half doesn’t hear.
I am tired of all the women running after me! I can’t take it anymore!
And what are you going to do?
Stop stealing purses.
In a cafe, two guys follow two young ladies.
– Maybe we can go and get to know each other? asks one.
– Yes, but a little later. Let them pay the bill first!