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Jokes, the Next Chapter

– I have a very good dog. He sniffs me from one kilometer away. How about this?
– You need to bathe more often.

A city guy visits his cousin, who lived in the Arizona desert. At one point, a howl is heard…
– What is this?
– Nothing, coyotes.
– But what are coyotes?
– Some wild dogs.
– And why are they howling like this?
– Well, we don’t grow trees, only cacti!

A tourist on vacation asks a local if there are crocodiles in the water. He answers that no. The tourist starts swimming and notices some dark spots in the water, a few meters from him. Returns to ask:
– Surely there are no crocodiles here?
– No, because they are afraid of sharks.

An old lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge supermarket was set up across the road from her shop. They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter – $10. In response, the old lady added a sign to her own window: Butter – $9. 
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: Butter – $8. Sure enough, the day after the lady’s sign now read: Butter – $7.
This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady’s customers pointed to the sign and said.
You cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete.
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered:
I don’t sell butter.

A man was riding his bike near a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, The Lord said, ‘Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.’
The biker pulled over and said, ‘Lord, build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.’
The Lord said, ‘Your request is materialistic! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard to justify your desire for worldly things. Think of something that could possibly help mankind.’
The biker thought hard about it. Finally, he said, ‘Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make her truly happy.’
The Lord is silent for a long time. Finally he replies, ‘You want two lanes or four on that bridge?’

Remember the Covid-19 empty store shelves of the 2020? Here is a reminder:

Red Riding Hood is going through the forest to grandma’s house when from a bush the wolf says:
“Red, where do you go and what are you carrying?”
“I am going to grandma’s house and I have a basket with food, cake, fruit, wine, medicine, money and a roll of toilet paper!”
“Ok, leave the roll and you can go.”

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