A man who dyes his graying hair is effectively making fun of his wife’s work.
After extinguishing the fire in the hospital, the firefighters report to the chief doctor:
“Everything is ok, the fire is out, in the basement we found 3 people who were not breathing, we resuscitated two of them, the third unfortunately died.”
“My God,” says the doctor, “in the basement we have only the morgue!”
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said:
“Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”
His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner.”
Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook…”
A priest and his friend were standing on the side of the road with a sign in hand that read: “The end is near. Repent!“
Cars passed by them and immediately after each car there was a crash and a loud noise. After a while, the friend asks: “Father, wouldn’t it be better to write on the sign ‘The bridge is out‘”?
A phone call to a travel agency:
– Do you make trips to Egypt?
– Yes of course…
– Tell me, please, what resorts are there?
– Sharm-el-Sheick, Hurghada, Taba, Nuveiba…
– Stop… Nuveiba. Darn, it’s good!
– When do you want to leave, how many people?
– Oh, no, I wasn’t leaving. We just solve crosswords…
The director of a boarding school warns the boys:
– If I catch one of you in the girls’ bedroom, I’ll fine him 10 Euros; the second time – 20 Euros and the third time – 40 Euros.
From behind, a shy voice
– Sir, how much does a weekly pass cost?
Two older friends are talking:
– Did you hear the news, dear?! Cathy married a man twice her age!
– Impossible! No one can live that long!
The owner of a company talks to a young man looking for work:
– First of all, our company is obsessed with cleanliness, says the boss. Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in here?
– Oh yes! Of course…
– Secondly, continues the boss, we ask our collaborators to be honest. There is no mat at the entrance…