Thinking positively: Is your glass half full?
How to stay positive during difficult times
I have to start by making a confession: this will not be 100% about sewing, but about a state of mind. Even if you are a sewing enthusiast and only read this site for sewing tips, please read forward and if possible, please send me a message or leave a comment here, I would love to hear your opinion on the subject.
Is there any way to think positively in this situation? There must be. Or else.
This article was prompted by events in my own family, events that have affected us quite hard, as we all have probably been. We have been uprooted, made sick, prevented from getting together, and threatened in our moral and physical well-being to the point where we had a choice: adapt or go crazy.
Another source of inspiration for this was an article from New York Sun from 1897 “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” which maintains its validity to this day. It is quite popular in the USA, but perhaps not so much elsewhere. But it shows us that having a positive attitude and believing in good is the only way we can progress.
There is no doubt in my mind that the current worldwide crisis is one of the worst periods in recent memory for our human species, probably the worst after World War II ended. There were other regional problems, and I have personally survived at least one of them (the fall of the USSR and the communist regimes of Eastern Europe), but this is a worldwide issue and it affects the very basis of our society.
Travel has become essential not only for people, as families scattered around the world, but for business also, as international commerce becomes more and more important to our society. It is no secret that many goods are no longer manufactured in North America or Europe but in China or South East Asia. Did you notice the lack of sewing machines at dealers and online vendors? At some point in June, almost everything was sold out, and prices for older machines soared on Craigslist (USA) and Kijiji (Canada), two online markets I have experience with.
Even now, I was looking last week for a good but not top-of-the-line sewing machine for a friend, and I recommended the Juki HZL-F300 model, which used to sell for about $500 at normal times. Guess what; most online retailers no longer have it, and on Amazon, it is already marked up to $650.
I recommend from time to time on my site sewing notions or other items (like irons, and sewing machines) which I like; I see now them going out of stock quite often, and I am no longer surprised to see an item go out of stock today, I replace it with a different item that I know and I tested, only to find that this new item is also out of stock next week. For me (and for us, as users) this is not really an issue in North America, the market is large and there is always a replacement. But I wonder how people in relatively isolated regions are faring, where because the market is smaller, the choice of vendors is not huge. Probably they really have a supply problem because of slowing commerce.
And we have of course the Covid-19 health menace that is over our heads like a huge, oppressing dark curtain. Will I get it? Perhaps I did get it, and I didn’t even know, that week when I got the sniffles in June? Will my father get it? For my father (he is 90 years of age), that is a really “will he survive” kind of question, because of his advanced age. Can I go out? What if I bring the virus back with me to my family?
Vaccine? Yes, sure. But will a vaccine be effective, will it last, or will it be just a political tool used by governments to avoid mass panic? Who will get to first? The world is not ready to mass distribute worldwide 10 billion doses each 4 months.
Looking at the flu vaccine, it is also possible that we will get only a couple of months of immunity, if at all. Because making a vaccine takes one year as we see and nobody can guarantee that next year the virus will be identical to what we have this year. The flu viruses are not, they mutate all the time, and the guesswork of the vaccine makers is not always correct.
CDC has published past articles about vaccine effectiveness, and it is not really encouraging for an individual. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/vaccines-work/vaccineeffect.htm. Yes, society, seem to show that the vaccines work, but, my family, we are not a statistic. We are individuals. Finding out that vaccines work 60% of the time is not helping, because I know somewhere in a corner of my mind that I (or my loved ones) might be in the 40% category. In fact, it is even likely that for a family some people will BE in the 40% category, statistics pretty much ensure that.
Will we, humans, be ok the long term? Probably yes, human history has seen much worse events, and we still live as a race. Despite our best efforts to the contrary, I might say; that I heard that humans have only one effective predator on Earth: other humans.
But what does “long term” mean? Will it be two years? Will it be 10 years? Will we learn how to live with the virus, as we learned how to live with the HIV virus? Will the traditional way of life remain with us? What about tourism, will it return? There are places in this world (and one of them is Florida, where I live) where tourism is integral to the way of life and a must, how will this change?
Disneyworld has become one of the symbols of “the American Way” and almost every child wants to see Micky, Snow White, etc; I read that Disneyworld either closes some of its attractions or reduces activity while laying off many workers. Is this not a sign of our old way of life going away?
Then there are the more important questions: will I be able to support myself and my family in the coming years? I see very few writings about the ways this epidemic will change us, perhaps it is too early for extrapolations., but there is no doubt in my mind that IT WILL CHANGE US.
I have heard – and I partially agree with it – even more worrying questions: with the world becoming less inclined to accept outsiders, will this inflame nationalism again? Not that nationalism is dead, mind you, even before the current events the anti-immigrant sentiment was alive and well in some places (and sometimes this was even justified because too many immigrants CAN alter society and its fundamentals if immigration is not planned properly).
Will we have wars? With many governments busy with their own internal issues, concerned about stability and internal problems, what if someone decided it is time to make a preemptive move and secure something they wanted for many years, but were unable to get? It happened before, and I am really scared by the possibility in this era when one single action might kill millions before anyone has even time to blink.
All these are very valid questions, and I do not really see anyway and answers will be available soon. But there is a bigger question here:
WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THIS? WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT ALL THIS?
How to stay positive during difficult times?
As individuals, short term we are powerless (stress short term). But do we have choices? Oh yes, we do.
We can panic. We can hide our heads in the sand. We can pretend nothing is wrong and all is a hoax. We can overreact and make mistakes that will harm us. We can try to escape reality by any means available. I have seen all of those happening.
Or we can act like intelligent beings and take the middle road.
We probably have to accept our losses, both as individuals and in society, no matter how painful they are, and march forward. Next time this year, some of us will no longer be here; that would have probably happened anyway, to some extent. But we can not allow ourselves to despair.
I believe we need to do our best to mitigate the consequences, accept that there WILL be consequences, and move on. Cautiously, but move on we must.
I heard a joke that stays with me to this day: “he who does not move forward, it means he does not advance”. It was intended to stress the bombastic way of speaking of politicians, but it contains a grain of truth: we have to do something. And one of the things we can do is act responsibly.
One example: I have read recently that one US state (Mississippi) abandoned its “mask is mandatory” policy which was seen by most (rightly) as an attempt of the state to curtail their rights. The state might or might not have been right in imposing the mandate, I do not want to debate this.
But at the same time, the governor stated that the absence of a mask mandate does not mean the mask is not MORALLY mandatory; in my mind, it means that any sensible person WILL wear a mask when in public, and will avoid going places where masks are not worn. I know I will, not because someone tells me to, but because I CHOOSE to act like this.
And this brings me to my original question: how do you see the current situation? Do you see it as leading us to our doom, or do you have hopes for the future? In other words, is your glass half full, or half empty?
Did you ever live with a family member who was under a sentence of death? I did. Someone in my family had a terminal illness and we pretty much knew it is only a matter of time. And it was. Did she stop enjoying life because of that? No. Yes, the situation was limited, but I have witnessed firsthand the “glass is half full” attitude and to this day I pray I have the moral strength to act like that if I will ever be in a similar spot.
I believe it is our duty to us, our families, children, and parents, to have a positive attitude. Bad things may happen when we don’t expect them, but bad things may happen even if we do expect them. So why to raise your blood pressure while waiting for the other shoe to drop; if it is to do so, it will do so with or without our black thoughts.
For me thinking positive thoughts means most of the time sewing, and that is probably true for many of us sewing enthusiasts. Someone pointed out that for me this is not new and I always had this attitude – when something goes bad, go sewing! One of the first articles I have written is this: “Sewing therapy for healthy living“.
This is (in part) why I started looking into Bargello quilts, I was always mesmerized by how beautiful and eye-catching they are. Surely creating beauty will lift your spirits!
This is also why I started making masks for my friends’ kids, a child – and excuse me here please, but I am talking mostly about girls, boys want strength and explosions! – will appreciate the beauty and it is a joy to see the smile in their eyes when they see it. They mostly don’t see the mask and what it represents; they see the whiskers, the bunny or the cat hiding inside, and the mystical unicorn, with whom they can identify. They have a better capability than us, battle-weary adults, to see the good in any situation and to live the magic of the moment.
I am now working on a Bargello quilt pattern (a preliminary image below) and I hope I will have it ready in time for Christmas, but there are so many things to do! What I can promise you is, that I will never let myself drown in sorrow and self-pity!
My glass is only half full; I need something to fill that glass, right?
What they say: life is giving you lemons? Make lemonade!
Let’s do it together!
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There are some great thoughts and observations here that are thought provoking. Thank you for sharing them. The masks are very cute!! I look forward to seeing the progress on your quilt!
Thank you! Unfortunately progress on the quilt is slow, but the farther I go, the more excited I become about the end result.
I have always appreciated your thoughts and insights into as wide ranging topics as invisible zippers to the state of our world. This writing does not fail to make me think deeply about many things. I have often felt that you think similarly to me and I am often always pleased when I see a new post that you have written.
I was taught to sew while I was in high school. A friend‘s mother, who had left Germany during a very tumultuous time, was a seamstress and she taught me the basics. Over 40 years later I am returning to sewing. I am a beginner again but it helps me practice patience, problem solving and teaches me that I will never be too old to learn.
I have a confession – I once pretended to be you – not really but I did use your name when a circumstance presented itself. My daughter was attending the wedding of a friend and the wedding venue was about five minutes from my house. I received a panicked call from my daughter that the bride’s sister had stepped on her wedding gown and torn it at the waist :could I please come and fix it for her? I don’t know why I did this but when I got to the venue I told people my name was Olga and I was the bride’s seamstress (my daughter and friends obviously knew this not to be true). I fixed the dress while the bride was still wearing it! The bride was happy, my daughter was proud and I was feeling good. I meant no disrespect in using your name. I hope I did not offend you but if I did I apologize. I guess it was just a reflection of how much I admire your skills.
Lorraine, it is flattering for me to find out that you feel I am good enough for someone to impersonate me! Truth is, the only wedding dress I made was for my second wedding a long time ago (here is the link). I have four girls of marrying age in my family, none of them gives any sign she is ready for marriage any time soon.
I read somewhere, “if your glass is half full, pour it into a smaller glass.” At first my reaction was to laugh. Then I realized the wisdom in those words. Maybe (no, normally) we expect way too much out of the world.
At this writing, I & my husband are living 200+ miles apart…he in our old home recuperating from reconstructive surgery of a foot and me in our new home trying to maintain some semblance of order. I work at choosing to have a full cup by babysitting 2 beautiful granddaughters after school and sewing during the day (when I’m not doing yard work, unpacking boxes, etc.). I am still on this side of the turf and able to do many things. My glass is smaller, but it is full to the brim with blessings, responsibilities, and love. What more could I need.
Thank you Deb; you know, laughing is not bad either. I really like the “use a smaller glass” quip.
That is a wonderful philosophy- pour it into a smaller glass. Thank you for sharing that thought. It’s exactly what Ive been doing, but you expressed it so well. I certainly agree.
Olga, I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in March. I had two lumpectomies in May and radiation in July. I know I was lucky to have these treatments in the midst of the pandemic. My family had already lost a baby at birth in March, and we were worried for her twin sister and her mother’s health. Family members were so worried and stressed that I committed myself to stay positive throughout, even to being thankful for whatever lessons I would learn from the experience, to help my loved ones to cope with this latest bombshell. In the end, staying positive got me through it, too.
Our family had a healthy baby boy born in July. We are blessed. We also take all the precautions we can to keep each other safe, even if it means we have to make sacrifices. We cant stop the hits from coming sometimes, but we can control how we face our challenges. Thank you for your inspiring article.
Oops, forgot- I sew quilts for family members and friends to relax and express my love and gratitude,and help out by babysitting when I can. Its all about being there for others however you can be- giving of yourself somehow. Taking care of each other. Thats what matters.
Carol, thank you for sharing. I think you are right: there is no point in fretting about events you can’t control. I really hope you will get better with your health problems; all the best!
My glass is half full. I love sewing. I have 2 sewing machines. A singer and a brother, and a Baby Lock serger. One is an embroidery-quilting-sewing machine. I’ve been sewing almost every day since all of this started. I’ve also been doing more scratch cooking. I don’t think this is the end of the world, but I do think it will change our world. I choose to wear a mask. I’ve made quite a few for friends and neighbors. Most at no charge. I also wash my hands and when I can’t, I use hand sanitizer with either Thieves or Shield Essential oil in it. I have also used the hand sanitizer to clean the handle on the grocery carts.
Deborah, thank you for sharing; I think most of us do the same. Now with the winter coming, I guess we will have even more time to sew!
I am (most times) an extremely upbeat, optimistic person. I can not change that we have a virus that threatens us all, so I will adapt. I wear a mask not just to possibly prevent another from getting the virus should I be a carrier, but also to protect me. I believe what can’t get out, can’t get in. In the U.S. right now, we have political and racial unrest. I treat people with respect and pray that eventually everyone will do the same. I can not change how others react to any situation, but I do control how I react and I refuse to allow another person or situation to control me. I will continue to sew and enjoy what I do and I felt I was truly blessed to have the materials available to create masks when they were so very necessary and unavailable to the public.
Katie, I fully agree. I forgot to mention one thing we should be thankful for also: I hear the flu season was pretty much non-existent in the Southern hemisphere this year, because of all the precautions, perhaps we will be spared too. I wonder: when this crisis passes, will we remember all the things about prevention we have learned?
I always deal with stress by sewing. This dificult times made me sewing even more than before, but when I create something beautiful I just have to feel happy, and that’s what I do. I sew. Supply shortage in my country (Croatia) forced me to do more of recycling, reusing and repurposing which is great! I save Earth more by doing this, then I did before.
Branka, we have gone through the supply shortage here too in North America in March/April; things are getting better now. If you would like to share some of the upcycling projects you worked on, contact me please through the contact form on the site (at the bottom). I have written about this before and new ideas are always welcome.
I love the masks, how cute! That quilt looks like a huge undertaking, but a great challenge, can’t wait to see it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and asking for ours.
I am petrified of going out and catching the virus, and afraid my husband will bring it into the house from his occasional outings to the store. We both wear our masks, doing our part to prevent the spread. Where I live, it was under control until businesses started to re-open, and travel restrictions were lifted. Seems to me that we will have to continue with this new normal at least into next summer when we can again spend more time outdoors.
It would be easy to become overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation if we let it, so we must not let it.
Hope is all we have. Hope that the virus spread will be controlled. Hope that there will be more sanity in the world leadership. Hope that civil unrest will diminish around the world. Hope that there will be a safe vaccine that is accessible to all people. Hope that we can turn around climate change before it’s too late. Etc, etc, etc.
But while we wait, we must keep our minds occupied with tasks, large and small. Tasks that offer a pleasant diversion from stressful thinking, and/or give a sense of accomplishment once completed. My favorite tasks include sewing, painting, reading, meditation, trying new recipes, taking online classes, and arranging music in preparation for when our band gets together again after Covid. (I really am hopeful we will get together again).
I also have a nightly gratitude ritual when I think about and give thanks for all the abundance I have (not only material). Doing so reminds me that my glass a full to overflowing. I may not need to get a smaller glass, but rather a larger one, lol.
Ranee, my thoughts exactly. I am temporarily living with my father now in Canada, and yesterday I was reading that some nut staged in Toronto a demonstration against masks which managed to gather about 500 people. Well, they don’t ask themselves, why do surgeons wear masks? Because they enjoy the fashion?
And you know, I am not against the idea of a larger glass too! Yes, we should count our blessings.
I am aware that my time for my creative outlet of sewing (also a side business) is a luxury. So many people are desperate to find work, and other people juggling multiple “jobs” with their kids out of school, etc. My grown kids are all stressed. I am choosing to use my luxury of time to support my kids as much as I can. I call and let them vent. I babysit to give them a break. I am helping two grandkids with their remote learning, so their parents don’t have to spend their preious evening doing school work with them. I keep them supplied with masks. I ask, “What can I do to help you?”
I can’t deal with the politics and the big global questions. It all overwhelms me. What I can do is help my little corner of the world get through this intact. I have to put my energy into them. My kids, while all grown, are struggling in different ways and need Mom more than ever, and I’m here for them.
Thank you; that is so true! Family should be the first and most important group in our lives. And probably for most of us it still is. The children have no better source of learning than their own parents and grandparents.
I also will continue to mask up in public. We just had a Covid scare with a sister-in-law who is a nurse. Now the new rule is no one comes here unless they are extremely close family. I watch my grandchildren because both set of parents don’t want to put them in daycare. I also have a 90 year old dad and 87 year old mother so I need to be extra careful. We will live, learn and move on for sure. I love your wisdom Olga and trust your sewing knowledge. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I have been sewing for a couple years now and have learned so much from reading your posts. Thanks!
Maureen, I like very much the way you express it: “We will live, learn and move on “. Exactly what I wanted to say, just that you summarized it so well!
It helps me to stay positive by sewing for charity. I have made comforters for refugees, masks for local groups, hats for babies ( crocheted), etc. It makes me feel like I am putting this special time to good use.
Pat, in my opinion, it is not only your feeling; this is indeed a very worthy cause and you have all reasons to say the time is well spent. I wish more people would spend time helping others.
Oh my gosh if I didn’t have my sewing machines They would probably put me away. With the VOVID 19, my husband having leukima , been on CHEMO, Son now living at home, etc. Not being able to go anywhere I would have certainly gone nutso. Sewing is a sanity saver.
On the machine your looking for try the Heavy duty Singer sewing machine. Some fancy stitches, but a great little machine. I think it is around $200.00 dollars with attachments. I love mine and use it a lot. My computerized machine just sitting here.
Phaedra, thank you! I really hope your husband will recover, that is a very serious problem.
My experience with Singer is mixed, you may be lucky – and about 70% of the buyers seem to be – or not. But if not, and the Singer acts up, the reviews that I read say Singer is pretty much not helpful at all. True, at $200 the loss is not great, but if you are left without a machine, that is clearly not good. So I prefer to spend a little more and get one with a better reputation. On the other hand, I have a Singer serger from the early 1980s, and it still works well, so you never know.
Thank you Olga for this. I haven’t had any tragic events in my life but have just found myself feeling sad about the current state of affairs. It’s mostly politically driven so your words to just keep sewing were perfect for me. Get off my laptop – except to read my emails! – stop watching the news, fake or otherwise and go do some sewing!! Thanks again for all your tips and tutorials!
Mary, could not agree more. It is difficult to avoid all the noise, everything from the printed ads, newscasts, internet ads, news feeds on the phone (which I get no matter if I want or not) – everything bombards you with a “message”, someone has an agenda to sell to you. Seldom this agenda includes what is good for you though. When I want to see a sewing video on YouTube, I have to sit first through a politically-inspired ad. I would prefer to be presented the facts and be left alone to make up my mind, as it used to be 30 years ago. Yes, I know, it was a different millennium!
Olga- Thankyou for food for thought. Absolutely middle road and kick out the dumpsters for making matters worse.
Man is incredibly creative, like His Maker, whose handiwork is visible in skies and wild natural things.
How and where is my focus?
Light dispels darkness.
Roslyn, one of my friends told me once “I reached the bottom of the pit, there is no lower” he was in a bad spot). Another common friend said “well, you have to trust humans to find ways and invent machines to dig from here”. The point is, we should reach for the light, use that creativity to climb out of the pit, not for infighting and power grabbing. And I believe we have it in us to do it.
when I`m in a bad situation, I always think that there are individuals better than me ( good luck to them) and others are in worst situation than me ( for example : mother seeing her child sick because of hunger) . Therefore I always consider myself lucky and try to see the positive side of the situation I`m in.
Thank you! This is exactly the idea: try to see the positive side in everything. And in the end perhaps we can even see a grain of good in whatever happens.
I can’t find the post with “F.A.I.L” I forgot what it stands for.
The article is Is Learning To Sew Hard?